Sacred Masculinity Starts With Healing The Father Wound.
For a boy to become a man, there is naturally a series of requirements that go beyond simply the passing of time and ascending of age.
There is a demonstration through action that is called for the boy to embody what it means to be a man. A call to be rested in the principles, morals, attitudes and way of being that hold to the integrity of what a balanced sacred masculine man, living in the modern world looks like. … and further.. smells like, tastes like, sounds like and feels like 😀
This article explores the re-defining of what it means to be a man in the modern era, the return of the sacred masculine and a specific healing exercise to deepen.
The natural place of questioning we, as men find ourselves in, is what does this constitute? What is a balanced sacred masculine? What does it mean to be a true man in 2019? Who are our role models when it comes to this? Which men in our friend circle, family unit, community, pop culture scene, political environment… and the rest… embody this archetype? Of those men, who are we looking to for guidance, for mentor-ship for education and wisdom sharing? Which of these men are we ready to serve, and support in their mission, as we also step into our own?
In the modern age, much of this questioning is still continuing to unfold. There is a re-defining of what it means to be a man, what is the sacred masculine, and how is this embodied in a practical way.
A core of the reasoning as to why there is this “unknown space” that the collective of Men on this path are facing, is simple ; there are a lack of true role models.
In specific, the common Man, naturally is to look to the Father or guardians in which they grew up with. This is the first direction one may look. To look for direction, to look for an example, to look for guidance on how to navigate this passageway from boyhood to manhood.
The reality of this topic leads to the questioning, what is the state of fatherhood at this present time? How have our fathers done when it comes to embodying what it means to be a man? Are the traits our fathers knew, simply becoming outdated to the present modern era? What are the qualities of modern manhood that have been passed down from our Fathers/Guardians, and are they in alignment with a balanced version of manhood that we connect with in our heart?
It is surely going to be different for each individual, and it is a requirement for each of us to honestly inquire to the dynamic of this relationship, the lessons that have been learned and the wisdom (or lack thereof) that have been passed down. A good portion of who we become as a man, is initially a direct reflection of the beliefs, opinions, perspectives, and ways of being that were passed down by our father, or the individual(s) who represented this for us – from an early age and onward.
The core of it is returning to a place of gratitude for the big or small part our fathers played in our life. At the foundation, they are the reason we are here after all, able to experience this life to begin with. Regardless of how they did as a father, there is an eternal sense of gratitude that can be uncovered. Our fathers did the best they had the capacity to do. As we move through any hurt or resistance to this, we can find this sense of love, compassion and gratitude.
What Is The Sacred Masculine? What Does it Mean to Be A Man?
The common archetype of modern manhood has presented itself in a certain way that one could argue is quickly losing its power. Maybe moreso revealing the lack of true power it actually had.
In a world where the masculine energy has been dominant, we find ourselves in a plethora of modern challenges that simply point to something that is NOT working. This masculine imbalance is manifesting imbalances within many of our common standing systems and aspects of modern society. The question lies, what is the root of this challenge? Naturally, we find ourselves moving towards the level of the individual.
The imbalance of this masculine energy starts within the individual. The attitudes, beliefs, ways of being and values that we as individuals hold – specifically in this case men, will determine the bigger picture of our world at large. It is only ever going to be a mirror of what we embody on the individual level.
We find ourselves in a hall-room of mirrors, as the plethora of projections that we carry from deep within, manifest in our outer reality as signposts to what is being asked to be looked at, released or healed.
In the case of our modern man, who in many ways may have never really had the proper role model, leadership or balanced father figure – the inherit wound of the imbalanced masculine passes along from generation to generation.
From a young age The plethora of the imbalanced masculine symbols within the environment of our role models, father figures and guardians manifests and expand within the young man’s psyche and emotional being. It shapes and forms the viewpoint, beliefs and perspectives of the world.
…If the young male has been abandoned by the father, with little structure or support – it may result in a pool of festering anger, sadness and longing for codependency in relationship.
….Likewise, if the young male has had a dominant, controlling and power driven father – a potential result of over compensation, rebelliousness, low self esteem and addiction to outer success may manifest.
Simply to name a few examples…
The truth is, most men of the modern era can relate to this in some way. A complex combination of experiences that have resulted in a variety of ways of being by the young man. Whether consciously or unconsciously there is a recognition of the deepened wounds in relationship to those who have been looked at as fathers, male guardians or role models. The wounds that have been passed down generation after generation, only deepening and worsening as their unresolved nature, intensifies the pain and suffering that is caused.
The perpetuation of the imbalanced male energy has called for deepened authenticity vulnerability and emotional honesty.
It is an open invitation to rest in the inner balance that is required to embody what it truly means to be a man. A man that has come to know both the masculine and feminine energies within, and can feel confident in himself to express the full spectrum of his being, without hiding, or feeling shameful of aspects about oneself.
It is this willingness to dive into this shame, and the wounds surrounding the avoidance of these feelings, that there can be an opportunity for healing, transformation and transmutation.
To see these wounds in relation to the father, and the archetype of the father in positive light. To see them as lessons, and opportunities to make true change, and be of real service to the fellow brothers, sons and fathers among us.
This call to healing is in the heart of every man, and for those here, reading this, naturally a call that you have already accepted.
This call to be willing to move into the uncomfortable conversations, meditations, contemplation and required actions to further transmute this wounded energy into the power that it can become. The willingness to do the REAL inner work that can provide the foundation for REAL impactful work in the world, that leads, empowers, heals and transforms those in our communities.
This is the revolution that we are underway with. The initiation of a boy into a man requires true leaders of Men. Fathers, Brothers, Guardians – all are being called to represent and embody the sacred masculine in its balanced and practical sense.
Naturally, as one looks to continue this inner work, raising their individual vibration to an inner harmony, peace, compassion and balance – they begin to align with the teachers, role models and men that DO in fact represent this Sacred Masculine Archetype.
On my path as I continued to surrender along the path of awakening, and re-alignment – I was blessed with countless mentors, teachers and guides along the way that represented a this previously unknown energy of the Sacred Masculine.
I was given the living example for me to learn by way of simply being in their presence and applying their gifts.
It led to a further clarity on what this new way of leadership as a Man can be.
Principles and ways of being which included:
- Leading with compassion, gentleness and emotional intelligence – Being in tune with the feminine side of oneself brings a unshakable foundation to lead, manifest and create. As you are in touch with the foundation of nature, which all things are built on, one can truly empathize, connect and create authentic intimacy with the world around them.
- Holding space for strength, courage and perseverance – With a strong feminine foundation, where one is willing to experience the full spectrum of the emotional range – the powers of the masculine to demonstrate strength, courage and perseverance will be heightened in their capacity.
- A return to balanced logic – On the path of awakening, many are pulled into the feminine powers of intuition for the first time, as we live in a logic, left brain dominant world. As this exploration deepens, one comes to realize the importance of the balance with logic, logic as a foundation for practical decision making, guidance and leadership. This is the full spectrum approach to awakening that is embodied in the physical.
- Creative & Manifestation Power – The process of creativity is that of the unknown. Travelling into the unknown to create what has not yet been. This is the piercing and penetrating power of the true masculine. One that is released from the bonds of consumption, and in the directed, focused and will-full power to explore the new, unknown and uncharted. On a foundation of the feminine truth, this opens up for limitless potential.
- True Service – All things balanced here, bring an overall energy of surrendered service. The highest of teachings and responsibilities as a sacred masculine.
These are just some of the principles that pertain to the vision of the Sacred Masculine – I will be diving into this in our FB group and upcoming series more deeply 🙂
Emotional Intelligence is The Doorway To Healing.
A common theme among the re-defining of modern manhood is in the redefining of the common man’s viewpoint on that in which is viewed as “feminine”. IN this case we find ourselves pointing to the topics of emotion, flow, compassion, gentleness, nature, rest, self-care, love. We find ourselves in the topics that generally are not included in the manual of traditional masculine success.
When it comes to emotions, this is a more newly entertained topic in the male community. A topic that can only be avoided for so long, until there is the inevitable recognition of the power that emotions carry to govern our life. We come to find that everything in life moves based on emotion, and the flows of emotion. As we can navigate emotions in a balanced way, we can bring a new level of wisdom and intelligence to our decision making. Providing oneself with a new foundation in which life is lived on.
Here we have developed a simple method for any man aspiring to be a Quantum King, a role model of the balanced sacred masculine – to practice and apply. To dive into the emotional aspect of oneself, and further explore the topic at hand. To do so with the intention of coming into wholeness balance and completion within the dynamics of the relationship with the father, guardians and role-models who have passed down their perspectives beliefs, wounds and ways of being.
Father Archetype – Emotional Wound Release Method.
This is an exercise in which can be done alone or within a group to help facilitate the healing of emotional pain & wounds that have been inflicted within the relationship of one’s father or the individuals who have represented this for them.
The purpose of the exercise is to release one from the cyclical patterns that govern behavior due to an unconscious emotional energy that is stuck within the body and the psyche. It is these wounds that create imbalanced ways of being, beliefs and actions in life causing further pain & suffering, and becoming the models of action for our young sons & boys who are there to witness.
To put an end to one;s own cycles, along with the transformation of the generations after, or to come, is the greatest service we can be. Creating further freedom for ourselves and those around us.
The Release Method
- Set 20-30 mins aside, and find a quite space that you can find relaxation and comfort in – if writing is a powerful took for you, come with some paper and a pen.
- Take a moment to quite the mind by simply focusing on the breath and if it feels resonant, with the eyes closed. Bring the breath to 1/2 speed.
- Call to mind the energy or theme of your father or guardian that has represented this to you. Take a mental note, or write on a piece of paper the initial perspectives, thoughts or feelings that arise when this is done.
- If writing, once done, close eyes, or simply bring attention to where those feelings are in the body, what charges, triggers or feelings of tension arise.
- Without judging, going into stories, projections or ideas, continue to slow the breath and bring your undivided attention upon these feelings in the body. Rest your attention on them for some time.
- Continue to re-align your focus upon the sensations that arise in relation to the topic of theme at hand with the father / father archetype. You will see as you continue to silence your focus upon them, they will begin to move, dissolve and even completely disappear.
- Repeat this as necessary, as other emotions, feelings or themes arise in relation to this topic.
- Continue until there is a sense or feeling of completion that has occurred where as you bring to mind your father/ guardian there is at-least less, or even NO emotional charge associated.
- This exercise can be repeated each day for 1 week to see the changes that occur. At times things can shift in an instant, for others it may take longer and move in an “onion layer” life fashion.
- This method can be repeated for any other situation where an emotional charge is present.
Practice and dutifully apply the perspectives shared here and we will collectively as a group of men see the vast changes that can result. Both individually, and collectively we are in a time of accelerated change and evolution of what it means to be a man. With conversations, and active applications of the tools that support us, we are well on our way to an embodied re-defining of modern manhood.
Now, A few Important Things Before You Go
- There will be an ENTIRE section in my upcoming book pertaining to this and its relationship to the feminine – Pre-Order HERE
- JOIN A MOVEMENT OF CONSCIOUS MEN – A new Men’s based Conscious Movement is starting called Quantum King, To be a part of this launch of a unique new platform and community of men focused on topics like this one – go HERE + LIVE ZOOM CALL – Those who register above will gain access to our next live webinar designed to go deeper into these overall principles of the Sacred Masculine – along with the healing process noted here – Even if you cannot make the upcoming times – register for future dates!
- SUPPORT & COMMUNITY – A FB support group has been created for exactly THIS method and the topics in this article, a community of men to share their experiences and help each other grow – Join HERE.
- TRANSFORMATIONAL 1on1 WORK – Having personal 1on1 support to dive deeper into this healing work is always recommended as it can simply expedite the process – if you desire to book a session to go into this process further and have personalized guidance on how this can further expand – go HERE
- Please share your experiences with this method and perspectives on what has been shared in this article!